I am clean. This is my first camping trip. I am newly ironed. This is a strange and nearly impossible feeling to capture. Even as I sit here in the hospital eating horribly overcooked carrots and shamefully dried out salmon, I am incredibly clean and new. The newness is more than the fact that my colon is actually, physically cleaner than it was the day I was born; more than the fact it isn’t contaminated by this atrocious hospital food. I eat and create no shit. Literally. Everything is brighter. The thick clouds rolling in over English Bay in the dusk of early evening are bright clean water. I am clean, fresh and new from the core of my being. I am, in a very real way, reborn. But my stomach is so full I think I might puke.