Chemo killed my funny. Its not meant to do that. I’ve now consumed three batches of their poisons. One in December, one two weeks ago and they just removed the portable bottle today that pumps it in for 48 hours. Its just not funny any more. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired and can’t even string an original thought together.
Today the nurse at general daycare, while removing the pump, couldn’t get any blood back from the power port. That means a special trip to the cancer clinic tomorrow morning so they can squirt my port full of something called Alteplase. It’s essentially a clot buster that will dissolve the platelets closing off the end of the power port tube where it enters my jugular. Exactly what I hoped to be doing the morning of the day of my follow up with the amazing surgeon who turned my colon into a semicolon for me and left me my first ever surgery scar. @DrCarl_Vancouvr
That it took this long in life to acquire that first mark of medical intervention is a wonder. All the stupid shit I got up to in the past 57 years should have landed me in an operating room hundreds of times. But what makes matters worse is the fact that this time would have been entirely unnecessary had I listened to everyone who says, “get tested” or if I had listened to my own body four or five years go when I convinced myself I was suffering from hemorrhoids.
There are such simple tests that will tell your doctor whether you should have a colonoscopy. If you can take a shit or give a little blood, your doctor can determine your risk. If you can’t take a shit, like me six months ago, then you’ve waited far too long.
Don’t do it. If anyone in your family history had or has cancer, or if you’ve celebrated you 50th birthday, make an appointment and ask a doctor for a screening. Cancer is real. It’s serious. It isn’t what happens to the other guy.
Why get tested early? Colorectal cancer starts as a pre-cancerous polyp that can be removed during a routine colonoscopy; virtually 100% cure. Wait a year and you have stage 2, the polyp has grown into the wall of your intestine; laparoscopic surgery and 70% chance of a cure. Give it another year it’s stage 3 and has grown through the intestinal wall and involved the lymph nodes; major surgery with ileostomy or colostomy followed by chemotherapy and a high risk of recurring cancer next year. Do what I did and ignore it for four or five years and you’re in stage 4 and a world of hurt. The cancer has spread from the lymph nodes to other parts of your body. You get it all; Chemo and radiation, the major surgery, the ostomy may be permanent, months of chemo, more surgery and the very real possibility of being dead in two years anyway.
I may sound like a cancer screening evangelist here but if one of you or one of your friends get tested early and avoid what I’m going through, maybe I’ll get my funny back. So do it for me! Help revive my funny by facebook sharing, tweeting and google plussing this plea for early screening. Those buttons below aren’t there for decoration.