What’s Not On My Bucket List

I am told that today is a holiday. I can tell it’s true because my incredibly overworked wife was still home when I woke up this morning.

So I’m not working today. I won’t be mentioning that the kindness of our first donors has allowed us to register our interweb domain namesDumping Bucket and launch our first website. I won’t be telling you that you can now register as a member of the foundation or that there are pages there that you can use to offer yourself as a volunteer or tell us about your bucket list dreams.  I certainly won’t be asking you to use those buttons ⇓ down there ⇓ to share this blog post so your friends, followers and twitterverse pals won’t know what we are not doing today.

So what will I do today? Maybe I’ll tell you about how it feels to have gone through six weeks of radiation, one major surgery, twelve weeks of chemo and last Friday’s CT scan, then wait for five days to find out whether all of this will culminate in carving out the diseased portion of my liver.  Perhaps I’ll say how infinitely long five days can be. I might quote Winnie the Pooh who said one second can last forever. If I did, I would be paraphrasing, but you would understand how painfully, mind-numbingly interminable it is to wait for a prognosis.

itchyI could write about how terribly itchy my skin still is even though my hematologist has been trying her best to find a Heparin I’m not allergic to, or mention how this last batch (Loveparin) despite having “love” in it’s name, is not the drug that I adore. I could explain that it comes in 1.4ml doses that require a gigantic needle that should be used to inoculate elephants and leaves my poor abused belly looking like modern art in shades of purple, blue and yellow.

But if I did any of that I would just seem whiney, thankless and juvenile which isn’t the impression I am going for. Besides, it is, I am told, a holiday. So I’ll be dumping out my Bucket List for the day and not doing any of the above. I hope you all understand.

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5 thoughts on “What’s Not On My Bucket List

  1. Teddy

    George…Because of your wise words, I tell everyone who appears to be approaching the ’50’ years mark your story and to GET TESTED. I am 54 and didn’t give a thought to getting tested until you started writing your Cancer Blog. Nobody else advised me to have it done. I didn’t get a note in the mail from the Doctor. We are all in charge of our own bodies and to educate ourselves. If we get tested, it could save us from whining about it later (and no, I don’t think you whine at all)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hear you. Some days I just don’t want be grateful for the crap life has given me; example ” I’m grateful for beating cancer, grateful that it did not spread through my body”. Although I am very grateful for those things, some days it’s not enough. Long story short : diagnosed with colorectal cancer January 2015; all the usual scans, dr appts, etc.; 5 excruciating days of high dose radiation; tumorectomy; glamorous life with Ileostomy for 9 months; reversal of said Ileostomy January 2016. So that brings us to date, currently re-adjusting to life minus 12 inches of colon and a rectum. I am grateful for yoga that has eliminated the pain in my hips that was due to radiation, and that I believe is the reason I still have (mostly) control of my bowels. I am grateful that I did not need chemo so I still have my hair. Just once though I want to be grateful for something not attached to overcoming a hardship. Like I am so greateful for winning the lottery, or I am so grateful for this home cooked meal that just showed up on my doorstep. But we carry on don’t we. Being positive so those around us in our lives are comfortable and unencumbered by our emotional pain and anxiety. Blah. I hear ya, I hate being that whiny person too.


  3. Have a great day ‘off’, hopefully relaxing with your lovely wife …
    btw, its ok to be whiney, thankless and juvenile occasionally … it gets categorised in the ‘therapeutic’ section 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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